


Soothe And Stab

by ratchimprazzledazzle



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, M/M, Multi, Other, Sakura is oblivious, Sasuke and Naruto aren't the only unofficial couple in Konoha, Shisui wonders how he got caught up in this mess, emotionally stunted killers, for people so smart you'd think they'd be able to navigate their feelings, non massacre au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26356807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratchimprazzledazzle/pseuds/ratchimprazzledazzle
Summary: In which Sakura has an admirer with every skill except social.Sakura is pursued in the most unconventional way. Itachi has no idea what to do with the feeling of wanting something for himself. And everybody is painfully aware of the two skirting around each other except of course the two themselves.Looks like Shisui has his work cut out for him.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi, Hatake Kakashi & Nohara Rin & Uchiha Obito, Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina, Uchiha Fugaku/Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 9
Kudos: 126





	1. The Question

Dropping back into a crouch she side eyed the figure standing a few feet away in the one clearing of _her_ training ground. Now technically speaking she didn’t have any holding of the property but that hadn’t stopped her from staking her claim in the roundabout way of coming to this exact training ground every day at the same time if she could.

It was her break time and damnit she needed to blow off steam so her bedside manner didn’t start to slip into something rivaling Tsunade’s.

Having habits was in itself the worst habit a shinobi could have. Which is how it was so _so_ easy to keep track of this particular one.

“If you need medical attention you already know what I’m going to tell you.” she sighed. Pushing short hair back with the heel of her palm her face grimaced when the sweat held most of it where it was forced.

“Hn.” he turned his face to the side as arms came up to cross his chest defensibly. Great. He was in one of _those_ moods.

“ _Words,_ Sasuke, _words._ As in more than one? As in whole sentences? We’ve been over this.” Standing fully back up Sakura stretched her arms up above and slightly behind her humming in pleasure when she felt the small cracks work their way down her spine.

Despite his calm stance the small tick of his eye was a blaring alarm that she offended him. Good.

“I’m busy” casting out that barb never failed to irritate him. His shitty attitude as a spoiled kid carried over into his post puberty self ( _Too busy for him? Of course that wasn’t a consideration he thought about. Ever.)_ and it didn’t hurt to knock him down a peg or two when the chance opened up to her.

Naruto was gonna fall way behind on their little scoreboard if she didn’t pick up on her own nitpicking of their priggish teammate.

Speaking of, where one saw Sasuke, Naruto was never far and vice versa these days. Both of them going for ANBU at the same time they’ve been training together with Kakashi outside of team spars to fully prepare for the hellish testing they’d readily jumped at.

When he still didn’t turn back to her she shrugged outwardly at nobody and turned back to doing the set of katas she was interrupted from at his eerily silent appearance.

_I know we take silent movement to the extreme but, c’mon, Uchiha silence was unfair_

On her ninth form he broke

“What are you doing with my brother, Sakura?” The flush of red on the top of his ear made it obvious that wasn’t what he was originally going to say. But then the question registered and her mind, well, it blanked. Sasuke’s brother? Itachi? The same guy Sasuke used to trail behind as a kid until that hero worship turned into something competitive? What?

“What”

Her tone must have struck something he wasn’t looking for because he finally looked at her straight on.

“I’ve been tracking his movements as training.” Came the most unhelpful answer as his chin pompously stuck out and up the tiniest bit.

“What does that have to do with me? I swear if Naruto put you up to pranking me you’re failing horribly.” That had to be the only reason that ridiculous question was even asked in the first place.

Anything out of the ordinary Sasuke did, Naruto was never too far behind laughing loudly.

When Sasuke had that brief period of wearing that gaudy purple rope belt and open shirt he refused to even speak on the change. Only coming out later from his cousin high on painkillers, who of course is talkative even when having his ribs set, blabbed that Naruto indirectly was the cause of the change by ragging on Sasuke’s regular high collared shirt and claiming he had no style.

Which is rich considering it came from the mouth of a girl who declared orange to be _the sneakiest color, believe it!_

“What ever happened to that belt anyway?” The outfit still fresh on her mind and she never got to ask before his sudden switch back to high collars and continued refusal to speak on the new ( _old?)_ outfit.

“What” The once accusatory glare morphed into an all around blank look.

“Y’know the...belt?” She mimed around her waist feeling a bit foolish “The purple rope belt you-”

“Shut up. You’re annoying.” cut her off too quickly to not be anything but embarrassment. He was gone before she could even say another word.

“Well that was weird.” Sakura huffed before glancing at her watch only to start at the time.

“I’m late!”


	2. The Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura just wants to help. 
> 
> And unknowingly gets the shit end of the stick for it.

“You’re late.” was what greeted her as she slid into her office, and also what made her jump back and knock into the door frame just as said door was closing.

Just when she thought she made it without anyone noticing. Of course.

“What the-” Sakura struggled getting her apron unstuck from the door knob for a second before pulling too hard and ripping the door knob out of the wood. The wood itself untouched from any destruction.

“And you’re destroying hospital property. Again.” the same clipped tone notified her to who her surprise visitor’s identity was.

“Shishou!” her face lit up as she turned towards her mentor and emotionally her second mom.

“That’s coming out of your pay.” Tsunade made an intimidating figure even while taking a deep swig out of a sake bottle.

“Shishou!” this time the word was morosely objecting in tone. Judging by how little liquid in the bottle slushed when Tsunade slammed it onto her desk Sakura made the decision to not push.

“That twit thinks he can come into _my_ hospital and start making demands from _my_ patients.” the bottle slammed down a second time ( _and how the hell was the desk cracking before the bottle?!)_ before bringing it up and finishing what was left with one oddly elegant head toss back.

“I swear I almost did it this time.” Tsunade, thin lipped and brows furrowed, shot a look at her for a second then slashed her eyes to the empty bottle in frustration. “We need to start hiding more bottles around. Shizune knows almost all of my spots and it’s beginning to show. Can you believe there was only one in this room? One! If that red haired loud mouthed brat hadn’t sealed the door after I came in here _‘For everyone’s protection’_ I’d be dragging him down the street by his jaw till he pissed blood by now.”

“Wait what? You were sealed in here?” Used to the threats that spill out of the older woman, Sakura keyed in to the most important part of Tsunade’s pissed ramarks. Looking back at the door she still couldn’t see anything. Channeling a sliver of chakra into the door revealed a mass array of sealwork that obviously didn’t just happen on her thirty ( _fourty eight today_ ) minute break.

“What the f-” was all that was able to choke out of her mouth before the lines disappeared back into the swirls of the natural wood surface.

“Kushina?” Sakura guessed.

“Kushina.” Tsunade confirmed, shrugging one shoulder.

Well huh. Guess she’d have to track down Naruto sometime soon and interrogate the noisy blonde on when her noisier mother took this new liberty. Not even the Hokage could stop his wife and daughter when they were being liberal with their seals. Hell, half the time he was there with them helping.

It’d be nice though to be notified whenever one of her teammates family members decided to directly interfere into her life.

At least this isn’t as bad as when for a short time she had a random Uchiha each day who was ordered to follow her and _discretely_ step in if she were ‘running herself ragged’ and was only put to a stop when Sakura wiped the floor with Sasuke, literally, during a spar while staring down her little helper the entire time never breaking eye contact.

Sakura hasn’t forgotten the tingle of pleasure seeing the horrified fear mixed with awe on Shisui’s face since.

On the plus side she didn’t see any Uchiha’s for a full week after, but on the down side she actually did end up running on fumes at the end of that week thus proving Mikoto’s point in the first place.

And really she should’ve expected Kushina to imitate her best friends misplaced show of caring in her own boundary crossing way.

Growing up civilian taught Sakura that shinobi don’t exactly express themselves in the most normal way. They take the term ‘Watching each others back’ in the most literal way. Though while being great practice on the field it didn’t translate as well when back in the village, but, she at least could appreciate the thought. Now if only they would _communicate_ with her before doing these things.

And on that thought it lead her right back to the woman leaning against her desk.

“Let me guess, Uchiha?” Sakura slid a thick volume of an outdated anatomy book off her shelf, the only book she’d made a sacrifice of in the pursuit to help her starve off Tsunade if an occasion like _the very one she was in now_ arose, opening it she plucked the flask out and lightly tossed it over her shoulder at the other woman.

“Uchiha.” Tsunade murmured in agreement as she opened it and took a whiff. “Oh this isn’t the cheap shit, I’m impressed. Rough shit after dealing with rough shit.”

“Which one?” Sakura barked out a laugh as she settled down onto the love seat in her office (where she _did not_ _sleep most nights_ and _no, Ino, I don’t have an inferiority complex when it comes to my job. Thank you and fuck off. By the way tea tomorrow? Same time?)_

“The old one with the stupid face.” Tsunade sunk into the seat next to her and leaned back enough that her hair smashed up against the back of the worn cushion. Closing her eyes she frowned in thought “I don’t understand how you deal with them on a regular basis.”

“Semi-regular, I still have my duty to my job here most days.”

“When haven’t you seen at least _one_ of those idiots taking up space in a bed here? If they weren’t so quick at learning the first time their mistakes when attempting those stolen jutsus of theirs I’d place money on the whole lot of them being suicidal via stupidity.”

“Good thing you suck at betting.” Sakura narrowly missed the strike sent at her throat, the force of the power behind her mentors strike sent an unnatural abrupt wind blowing back her hair and feeling too cool against her still tacky skin from her short workout earlier.

“What did he want with a patient anyway? Work or family?” Sakura asked thinking back to a couple times the hospital was graced with the Chief of Police’s presence.

Fugaku was the only Uchiha who both could and would push her mentor to lose composure enough to have chaos loving Kushina step in.

Personally Sakura thinks it’s some latent feelings from the old feud their two clans had with each other that both start verbally attacking on sight, but like hell would she step into the crossfire to ever voice _that_ opinion.

“Both. Which makes him twice as bad today.” Tsunade lifted one eyelid to pin Sakura with a honey colored stare. “Shizune is handling it I guess. Better her headache than mine to explain to the twits that letting larger bones heal naturally is better in the long run than a quick bind with chakra.”

“Twits? I thought it was only Uchiha-san?”

“The other one is the patients dog toy.” Tsunade smirked at the new insult she came up with for Sakuras first sensei.

“Oh, Obito, gotcha. Well, I mean, he’s unnaturally clumsy for a shinobi sometimes so I’m not surprised to hear about him here again but I’m still completely out of the loop on what the hell happened since I took my break.” And plus, Sakura was sure that if she hadn’t drilled that information about bones healing naturally into her sensei’s head by now then Rin definitely did that years ago.

Sakura still wasn’t clear on how Rin mananged to bowl-over both Kakashi and Obito’s excuses to not go to the hospital and persuade the woman herself to heal their wounds, or straight out hide said wounds in an attempt to evade the building, but Rin did and she did it with what seemed like no effort.

Probably made it hell of a lot easier that she was dating the two guys and they faltered in the face of the usually sweet woman’s ire.

“Why don’t you go see the fun for yourself?” Tsunade proposed, offering no other information. Nodding Sakura unfolded from her seat, shooting a sad look at her desk, and started for the door.

“Bring some sake on your way ba-” the words cut off abnormally as the door fully shut.

Kushina layered in a silencing aspect to the seal of her door apparently Sakura noted with half a mind as she trekked up to the floor for unwilling patients (or otherwise known as higher level shinobi).

* * *

Peaking her head into the doorway of Obitos unofficial room (They keep it on hold for him for a reason) Sakura took a moment to take in the atmosphere.

The occupants of the room looked calm on the outside but _jeez could they kill the outpour of chakra?_ The whole room felt oddly pressured like walking through water, enough that the civilian nurses were avoiding even the entrance by a few feet while rushing past doing their rounds.

Obito was laid out on the hospital bed with a cast covering his leg from the knee down and the biggest shit eating grin on his face. Big enough to even lift the scarred side through the nerve and muscle damage.

On opposite sides of the bed was the weirdest showdown Sakura may have seen lately. Fugaku and Kakashi were on one side yet tilted away from each other enough to notice while Shizune and Rin were firmly aligned in their allegiance.

“Little Sakura-chan! How’s my favorite of Kaka’s minions?” Obito spotted her first, sitting up and immediately falling to the side he was only saved by Kakashi’s grasp on his shoulder and gently pushed back down. Kakashi’s eye never leaving Rin’s as Obito was adjusted onto the flat pillow.

“I’m well. The real question is how’re you feeling?” Looking into Obito’s glazed eyes Sakura quickly came to the conclusion Obito was currently high as a kite and wouldn’t remember his latest stint when the meds wore off.

“I’m feeling fiiiine.” He turned his head towards Kakashi’s hand still on his shoulder and rubbed his cheek on it in a cat like manner. “I would be much better if we could get back to what we were doing before I fell out of bed-” The hand quickly slipped up and covered his mouth before anything else came out about what exactly they were doing. Rin’s face went red but Kakashi shamelessly slanted a look at Fugaku and waggled his seen eyebrow. Fugaku’s face could be mistaken for stone for how still he got.

Sakura really could’ve done without the mental images that flashed through her brain at the thought. Not that they weren’t attractive (Obito even made his deep scars oddly alluring in a roguish way) but Kakashi sensei has been her sensei since she was _twelve_ not to mention Rin was the closest the pinket had to an older sister and Sakura _did not_ want to ever imagine what they all got up to in their shared one bedroom apartment.

Shizune cleared her throat and bravely pushed through this awkwardness that everyone collectively shared where they all knew everyone else did in fact just imagine... _that._

“Sakura good thing you’re here. We’ve been trying to tell them that the hospital is the best place for Obito to heal for at least a week before being allowed to go home. Maybe they’ll listen if _another_ person says the same thing.” Shizune looked close to kicking the two males out of the room. Hands fisted on her hips and mouth drawn down.

“And I’ve been trying to tell _them_ that Obito would be better rested at home. In his own bed.” Kakashi didn’t even look at her as him and Rin glared each other down.

“To be fair it sounds like him being in his own bed is what caused this in the first place.” Sakura flipped through the chart attached at the end of Obito’s bed and did some calculations on when he should be free from the tender mercy of the staff. “I agree with Shizune. A week a least.”

“He can rest at the station.” Fugaku unreasonably tried to reason.

“Three against two. He stays.” Shizune tiredly bit out.

“Three against three.” Kakashi corrected gesturing down at his now zonked out boyfriend.

“Obito is on a morphine drip, Kakashi, he can’t make make that choice for himself at the moment. Try again.” Rin steeled back.

“Four against three.” Kakashi offered.

“What, how?”

“You didn’t count both of Uchiha-san’s faces.” The silver haired man eye smiled back at his girlfriend.

Fugaku let out a long deep breathe as his hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I just wanted one day off. I’ll put a cot in my office for him if I must.” Uchiha’s don’t plead but damn was this the closest Sakura has ever seen one come close to. Fascinating if you took the time to appreciate it.

“Why does it have to be Obito?” Sakura wondered aloud. “You’ve got a whole department, surely one of them can take up the responsibility for one day?”

Kakashi and Rin started hissing low threats at each other over Obito’s prone body in the background. Shizune had enough and left this mess to Sakura now that she had an escape.

“If it were that easy I would not be here, Haruno-san.” Fugaku had never seemed so human to her until now. Usually the stoic man was as unmovable in his will as stone and just as jagged.

Obviously exhausted after his run in not only with Tsunade but also Kushina, who never runs out of energy ( _And where was Kushina right now? She usually mother hens not only her own child and their team, but also her husbands team. Plus she never misses a chance to annoy Fugaku with just her presence)_ and then followed up by the joint effort of Shizune and Rin.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is the problem?” weighing her options she figured the worse that could happen is him clamming up and shoving the stick back up his ass. It usually worked fifty-fifty chance when approaching Sasuke with direct questions and it’s plain to see the apple didn’t fall far from the tree as much as Sasuke vehemently denies it.

“It’s a clearance problem with the rest of the department. Nobody else there has as high clearance as Obito or myself for the paperwork he was going to be doing for me.” And that honestly came as a surprise because Obito and paperwork didn’t have the best history.

He was quite frankly notorious when it came to losing mission reports or just plain forgetting to do them by getting distracted by random good deeds he stumbled upon in town. Most people think his excuses are lies but Sakura has personally seen him in the aftermath of saving cats from trees. More than she thought she’d see, really.

Looking uncertainly from clan head to clan member she didn’t want to ask. Really. She didn’t.

Fugaku understood without showing anything and stiffly answered. “Sorting paperwork, Haruno-san, not filling it out.”

“Ah.” That fits. And it was something Obito would count as a good deed. _Helping family._ Makes perfect sense. Thinking back to her own paperwork (that she was always ahead on) she made a terrible mistake. “I could help you if you help me.” she nodded over to the fighting two-thirds of a couple _(is it called a few in this case?)_ “I have tomorrow off and have the clearance level needed.”

Fugaku regarded her for a long moment weighing her soul and making her think _what the fuck did I just do_ before sharply nodding once and turning away from her towards the bed.

“Obito will reside here until released personally by Haruno-san.” he slanted his own sly look at Kakashi and continued “Otherwise you’d force my hand and have him moved back onto clan grounds.”

“You can’t.” Kakashi and Rin banded together quicker than light.

“He’s an unmarried clan member who never officially left. I can and I will if pushed.” pausing at the door he gave the room his side profile. “Someone will be sent to retrieve you tomorrow morning at your residence, Sakura-san.” and strode out.

Just why did that switch in title fill her with some unearthly dread?

"Ma, my cute little student." Kakashi zeroed in on her. "Won't you help your poor old sensei out?" he somehow managed to pull puppy eyes at her with only one eye.

She'd worry about the title thing later. She had bigger problems at the moment it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just gotta say I never thought I'd get a bookmark or kudos from that little start of a story I posted a day ago, but wow did I feel super motivated while writing this. We'll get a different POV in the next chapter and it'll pick up into the plot quicker. I just like the non massacre au's and wanted to delve a bit into the one I imagine to set some characters.


	3. Sasuke does a Brood and Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke won't admit to his very self aware feelings.  
> Good thing Shisui is there to push an oblivious blonde in the right direction.

Slipping onto the stool Sasuke picked up the chopsticks left on top of the bowl he didn’t order but knew was his. The old man civilian who Naruto worships with the matching patience of a saint has started to not only memorize his usual order but also put it to the stool right next to the blonde whenever she appears on her own usual (engraved) seat whether he’s with said girl or not. Sasuke determinedly did not think of the implications on this.

“-and then I was like, ‘What happens if we did overload the matrix of the seal?’ and Ka-chan didn’t know so we decided the next time I have a day off we’ll head out of the village and test it out! Tou-chan has been moping around the house ever since, believe it! Not our fault the Hokage’s job is never done!” Naruto somehow managed to not choke on her food while talking and gesturing. Her flailing arm came down _hard_ on his shoulder as she leaned over to him, their faces a scant inch apart, and gave a beaming smile.

He couldn’t breath, his head not able to send the unconscious signals to his lungs, as her smile blinded him.

“Dobe,” he shoved her (and his thoughts) away “do you think it’s a good idea for just you and Kushina-obaa to be going?” _without supervision_ went unsaid but implied.

Naruto slapped the counter with a laugh “You’re our babysitter! I volunteered you!”

“No.” he started in on the salty meal slowly with one eye on the blonde.

“You’re welcome!”

Knowing there was no way to get out of this (If he refused again she’d just get his Ka-chan on his back, and he couldn’t say no to his _Ka-chan_ without feeling guilty as shit _._ She’d give him that look filled with _disappointment_ and _where did I go wrong?_ ) Sasuke resigned himself to his fate.

“So the next time we have the same day free?”

“Yupp!” She popped the ‘p’ while waving down for another bowl, placing the newest empty one on the low pile of bowls to her left.

He was supposed to be tailing Itachi as part of initiation in ANBU. He couldn’t afford to spend any free time doing anything but work on his tasks. Naruto hasn’t even chosen who to follow, of course, and knowing her it’ll all somehow fall neatly into place without her even realizing it.

Which lead him to his newest headache.

Itachi. His aniki. The person Sasuke has been measured against his whole life.

_What exactly was he doing following his other teammate?_

Based on Sakura’s reaction to his friendly interrogation she had no idea she was even being watched. Which is something he’s not surprised at in the least. Not that Sakura isn’t competent but she wears herself out with how thin she’s stretched these days. Sasuke gets his own loving interrogation once a week on the comings and goings of his team from his Ka-chan. Not so much the blonde next to him (They’ve been stuck together since before he could remember thanks to their mothers being old teammates and best friends) but Sakura on the other hand has basically her own file in his mothers study.

At first Sasuke thought it was overkill to keep a constant eye on the girl but was proved wrong a few months ago when Sakura missed a team practice and he’d been the one to find her slumped over her desk at the hospital, her chakra hardly a bleep on his radar. He noted at the time that it was obvious she’d unknowingly moved into the office with how the couch still had her indent across it from sleeping and all the empty to go coffee cups filling the little trash can and corner of the desk.

He’d gently picked her up trying not to wake her and deposited her in her own bed at her apartment. On his way out of the kitchen window he’d come up short when he caught traces of his brothers chakra strong enough to come to the easy conclusion that Itachi was a frequent visitor to the fire escape _right outside of his teammates window._

The next day him and the dobe were given the task to pick someone who had a bingo book entry to follow and gather information on. He knew immediately who he was going to tail.

Since then Sasuke has noted down that when in the village his brother will be found around Sakura at least once a day. When Itachi gives the slip to Shisui it always coordinates to when Sakura is either on her break or out and about in the village. Asking Shisui about it was a mistake. He just lit up and, like the damn jutsu his monkier was named after, vanished.

“Are you done brooding, ya bastard?” shook him out of his thoughts on the _annoying_ matter.

“Uchiha’s do not brood.” He glared down at the blonde.

“Sulk then or whatever you wanna call it.” she waved her hand in a so-so manner.

“Hn.” Finishing his bowl he put enough bills down to cover both parties and stood.

“You paid last time!” Naruto complained following his lead and glumly slouching from her seat.

“Exactly. Now you owe me.” He noticed his idiot cousin loping by across the street and nonchalantly started in that same direction. Naruto scrunched her nose in irritation keeping pace with his longer strides.

“I’m not eating at that vegetarian place no matter how much you enjoy their _tomato salad._ Teme it’s just a bunch of tomatoes in a bowl!” She punched a fist into her palm. “Besides there’s no ramen! How do they even stay in business?”

“I’m not looking for food as payment.” He sent her a smirk rounding a corner onto the main road. Keeping the bouncing curly black hair in view he grabbed the stuttering blondes wrist and tugged her along.

“Th-that sounds so bad!” her face was bright red, the whole sight oddly endearing to Sasuke. “Pervy-jii was right about you!” now _that_ brought him up short. By her thought process he _knows_ she was reading that trash again (The last time she proofread one of the Sanins books for him she upgraded her sexy jutsu to a whole new dangerous, for him, level. Stupid blondes and their stupid outlandish ideas). Dropping his hold on her like she burned him he thought about what exactly her perverted godfather could’ve said about him in the first place.

“Wha-You know what? no. Just no.” He didn’t need to know.

“What does UST mean anyway?” she complained not noticing how his ears colored and eye twitched. “He keeps saying we have a lot of it between us but that doesn’t make any sense.” she gestured to the space between them “We don’t have anything between us at all!” and sage did _that line_ unexpectedly sting “Unless the old coot’s under a genjutsu making him see crazy stuff then I don’t understand at all.”

Stopping under an awning to a popular bakery she pouted expecting him to fill her in like he usually does in these situations.

“Hn.” no way in hell was he explaining the meaning to _her_. That’d just create a whole other tension in their dynamic and get his mind on something he really _really_ shouldn’t be thinking of so much lately. And dammit now he lost sight of his cousin. It’s not like it was a guarantee Shisui would lead him to his ghost like brother but it worked a majority of the time.

“You can’t just ‘Hn’ at me when you don’t want to answer, ya know.” arms akimbo Naruto firmly rooted herself in place.

“We,” Sasuke turned back to continue on his original way “are not going to psychoanalyze the crazy ramblings of a pervert.” Hearing a huff behind him he figured that she was going to prod the matter to death so, fuck it, he kept walking.

“Just you wait, Teme! I’ll find out this UST thing that’s between us and THEN you’ll be sorry, believe it!” she shouted causing him to feel the whole street stop and stare at both him and that _idiot_. Speeding up he cursed stupid blondes and stupid feelings.

  
  


* * *

Now _that_ was entertaining. Shisui eyed the rigid stance his delightfully uptight cousin escaped with from his position on the awning where under the little hime was fuming. _Yeah, he could definitely do something with this_ was his only thought as he swung upside down and held himself to the underneath of the covering. His chakra cementing him in place without a thought. He’d just need to give the littlest helpful push and go with it.

“Lover’s quarrel?” he avoided the surprise hit she sent out on instinct.

“Shisui! Don’t just” Naruto clutched her chest breathing heavily “ _do that!”_

“Maa sorry Naru-hime. You know how cute I think it is when you blush.” shamelessly came out causing Naruto to turn an even brighter red.

“You-You-!” she _hated_ when Shisui teased her. It made her feel like a child playing adult. Like when she would yell out at every break in conversation that she was going to be the Hokage, a seal master, _and_ the village spymaster. (To be fair on the last one, Jiraiya made it seem so much cooler than it really was. Damn his storyteller ways.)

“Me!” he thumped a thumb against his chest and cheekily winked at her. Slinking down he draped an arm over her shoulders and started leading her the opposite way back towards Ichirakus. “I couldn’t help but notice you and Sasuke are having trouble in paradise.”

‘Trouble in paradise?’ She mouthed brows drawn in. Great _another expression_ she didn’t understand. Which- wait. She stepped from under his arm and twirled into his path head on.

“Do you know what UST means?” Shisui was a prodigy! He’d have to know. Her hopes came crashing down as he bent over laughing.

“Oh-no hime, I’m not stepping on that trap wire” he wiped the back of his hand under his eye to clear the mirthful tear that escaped.

Explain to the Hokages _only_ daughter that she and his little cousin have been an unofficial couple for _years,_ (and that the entire village is just waiting for either Sasuke to confront his feelings or Naruto to catch on to hers. He’d give them another year without interference before Kushina and Mikoto literally smash their faces together and scream ‘Now kiss’) yeah, that was a laugh and a half.

“Now Naru-chan, why don’t you ask questions of the heart to your other teammate? She’s definitely be able to answer you, hmm?” And maybe he could just so happen to be nearby and listen in.

“Sakura? Heart? The hell you on about?” She peered up at him and for a second her eyes sharpened, dissecting him as things started to line up in her head, and he froze in slight fear. For as much as the blonde took after her mother he sometimes forgets she’s not all Kushina. “You think Sakura is in a relationship? Pfft” She shook her head decidedly “With what time? She’s busier than _me._ ” As if that meant anything to Shisui.

“Wait that means you think me and the teme-” She cut off, hands covering her eyes, and squirmed in place. “The hell Shisui! Don’t joke like that!”

“Hmm” He hummed obligingly.

It was so much easier to steer these two together than his other more _troublesome_ cousin and his stalking victim.

A passing Nara cast a quick glare at him making him wonder about how close exactly the famous trio formation is. They’re big name clans but he can’t help but hope for some delectable drama of intermingling and children that could fill in any of the three points of the team. Just think of the love triangle, literally! The intelligence of a Nara with the insight of a Yamanaka and the strength of a Akimichi? Now that’d be the nightmare of enemies.

He’d have to set up an appointment with the Hokage later to put forth this newest idea. This is _the one_ , of his many wonderful ideas that will finally be accepted and implemented, he can feel it. If only his Hokage could see it his way for once _._ Then he’d make it into intelligence and be able to get his fingers into so many more _interesting_ things.

“And what’s with _that_ creepy ass smile?” Naruto gave him her patent Terrified By Yamato™ look. And just, wow, no wonder Yamato enjoyed terrorizing his taichou’s students so much.

  
“Just lost in delicious thought.” He reaffirmed her rightfully placed fear.

“All you Uchiha’s are nuts, believe it!” Jerking away from him she stomped off with the final word. Time to find Sakura and Complain.

So involved with internally and externally screaming she didn't notice Shisui shunshining across rooftops keeping measure with her.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been a long time reader and haven't written anything since way before my frontal lobe fully formed but I love this pairing and have a desperate need for more of it.


End file.
